Did you know that there are several phases to a Twin Flame Relationship? During my sessions with my clients over the years through one on one sessions and through the retreats that I lead, I have been privy to information that has led me to compile such insight. I previously mentioned the first phase where are are actually "Preparing" to meet our Twin.
The second phase of a Twin Flame Relationship is the "Recognition and Awakening".
Now the interesting phenomena that is happening is that most twins are not meeting in person. They are having a digital experience and within the digital online conversations there is an instant soul recognition. Of course, this can happen in a physical way as well. Yet I find it even more interesting how we can connect much easier online. We tend to allow ourselves to trust the conversation unfolding and not be attached to the physical elements or even the outcome, and when we do, we will move through this phase at a faster pace.
You require to have a whole other level of trust when communicating with people online whether it be texting, video calling or instant messaging. When you have not put a physical person in front of you the awakening of your own inner guidance and intuition can be supercharged. Triggering the awakening process to happen at lightning speed can have its side effects though. So be aware that you can actually revert to old “lack of trust issues” or you can choose to respond with open and honest communication. You will find with a twin that there is a very deep connection, very quickly
When Twin Flames meet one another, whether it is online or in person, their souls already know one another even if the twins themselves don’t consciously realize they are Twin Flames immediately. Their soul and energy bodies know immediately and then the heart chakras begin to merge into one.
Twin Flames often get along very well in this stage, and some even start a relationship with one another that’s full of love and joy. Even though they still might not consciously know that they are Twin Flames, they will know that they have never felt so strongly about anyone else in their whole entire life.
Twin Flames share a strong telepathic bond which is there instantly in this stage (and was always there before they even met).
The Twin Flame Telepathy is actually the language of the Heart. Stay with me here...
As Human Beings, we are always sharing our energy involuntarily with other people. It’s out of our control. With twin flames this phenomenon is more fascinating. Both halves of the Twin Flame couple have the same soul resonance, and vibrate at the same energy frequency, their energy sharing transcends to a whole new level. It’s a mixture of empathy and telepathy, which allows them to sense each other’s thoughts, feelings, and wishes.
When we have conversations with our twins, we often find ourselves amazed at how “tuned in” they are. They might finish our sentences or verbalize things we are internally thinking about.
Often times they will call or text us at the very moment we reach for our phone to contact them, or we’ll find a message from them just as we go to write them an email.
As the love grows between the Twin Flame couple, so does the telepathic connection between them. Telepathy reflects an energetic resonance, so the deeper the oneness and the stronger the bond between twins, the better each will be at receiving and transmitting one another’s telepathic signals.
Did you know that our entire being- mind, body, heart, and soul are required to transmit, receive, and interpret these signals. Telepathic signals are sent out through the heart chakra, which acts at a transmitter for mental and emotional information, and it is received through the crown chakra (the connection to our higher selves, the Universe, and the Divine). The mind then translates the energy received by the connection into a language that we can understand.
When the energy is connected between Twin Flames, it creates a telepathic communication gateway between them. This is founded on their feelings of intense love for one another.
Now before you can have telepathic communication, you must be able to open the heart and crown chakras. These chakras often open during a spiritual awakening.
I like to refer to this next part of the process as “Heart Resonance”. As each one grows spiritually, their energetic bodies merge more and more, giving rise to the Ascension which purifies their hearts. Ascending hearts are opening themselves for the deepest and more sincere communication between one another.
As Twin Flames merge, they will gain new spiritual abilities by sharing the code to one another’s soul, as one always carries the keys to the other’s codes. Just some of the magic that can unfold when Twins merge. This gives them the ability to sense one another’s energy and thoughts- even when they are physically apart.
Telepathic abilities within each twin may differ, depending on the inner work one does. The twin who has advanced further on the spiritual path or inner work will have a stronger ability to transmit their thoughts and feelings telepathically to the other twin.
By sharing a telepathic connection with your twin, it allows you each to experience one another’s minds as if it were your own. You might find your twin fulfilling wishes that you haven’t even verbalized. Or even answering questions you haven’t asked. It’s like two minds becoming one to such a degree that it’s often hard to distinguish between your own thoughts and that of your twins.
As each of the twins becomes further awakened and grows spiritually, and becomes more in touch with their higher self, they will become more aware of the telepathic connection between their own heart and that of their twin’s.
Once again to remind you of the importance of the individual person’s heart opening and inner work is all done through the Self-Love process. We cannot attract this opportunity into our lives, without first experiencing only LOVE for our self.
Even if you have already met your Twin, remember you are still required to do the inner work to further your connection and isn’t the ultimate goal LOVE.
When twins reach surrender, they come to appreciate this means of communication more, and learn to understand its subtleties. This telepathic connection between them becomes an ever-present source of comfort and spiritual nourishment for twin flames.
If you are curious to know if you are on the right path or even what the next phase is, send me an email with your phone number to set up a time to connect, to Wallace.firstname.lastname@example.org
Much love and light always,
I Am here to be of service to you, so you may BE the best you ever!
Self-Love Expert and Master Energy Healer
Creator of Divine Love Retreats.
Let’s face it. Most of us have had our fair amount of experiences when it comes to being broken hearted or disillusioned by love. We could be completely fatigued and done with the whole relationship rollercoaster. You may even still be entangled in a karmic relationship and you feel like you are so done. In fact, you said “enough” of this ride and you are not even looking anymore. Than one day out of the blue you meet someone who you are totally unprepared to have in your life. This may be your twin flame.
I will let you know that feeling unprepared is one of the biggest reasons why twin flame separation and the twin flame runner and chaser complex occurs. In fact, we might have already met our twin flames, yet we have overlooked them or taken them for granted in some way.
Whatever emotional or psychological stage you’re at in life, it is always beneficial to be conscious of the people you live with, meet, connect with and spend your time with.
That is why I have put together a list of possible twin flame signs that might help you to open new pathways and opportunities for union:
1. You feel as though you’ve finally found a “home” or safe place with the other person.
2. You feel a strange, inexplicable sense of “recognition” when you meet the person. (Even if it is online.) This might manifest itself as déjà vu, or an unshakable feeling that you’ve known this person before or are somehow “meant to be together.”
3. You have a feeling that they are going to play a very important role in your own development, without knowing when, why or how.
4. You’ve established an immediate, intense connection with them that is invigorating and shocking at the same time. It can actually shake you up to the core.
5. When together you are both bonded but free, attached but unattached. In other words, you still maintain your freedom even though you might be in a relationship with them.
6. You are able to be your authentic self – scars and all – without the fear of rejection, persecution or judgement with them.
7. You both embody the yin and yang, in other words, your dark side is balanced by their light side, and their dark side is balanced by your light side.
8. You feel a sense of expansion with them, as though you are larger than your limited identity.
9. They make you a better person, and you make them a better person.
10. You are finely tuned to their energy, and they are finely tuned to yours. This means that you are both very conscious of the present play of energy (whether happy or sad, angry or forgiving, open or withholding) present in the connection. You’re both therefore highly empathic with each other.
11. You feel as though you have been waiting for this person your entire life.
12. You both connect deeply and mirror each other’s values and aspirations for life beyond surface similarities.
13. Your twin flame is a mirror of what you fear and simultaneously desire the most for your own inner healing. For example, if you are a highly-strung person, your twin flame will most likely be relaxed and messy. If you like to play the victim, your twin flame will be a strong character who refuses to give you pity or sympathy to perpetuate your complex. If you are creatively repressed, your twin flame will be a flourishing artist. In this way, our twin flames challenge and infuriate us but also teach us important lessons about our fears, core wounds, and repressions.
14. One of you is more soulfully mature than the other and often serves as the teacher, counsellor or confidant within the relationship.
15. You are taught important life lessons such as forgiveness, gratitude, empathy, and open-mindedness by them and with them.
16. The most growth you’ve ever experienced has been with them. No other friendship or relationship has transformed you as deeply as this one has.
17. Your connection is multi-faceted. In other words, your twin flame is likely your best friend, lover, teacher, nurturer, and muse all at once.
18. Your twin flame doesn’t try to change you. They accept you for who you are and what stage you’re at and encourage you to do the same for yourself (and vice versa).
19. You can be truthful with each other about anything.
20. Together, you both feel driven towards a higher purpose, whether spiritually, socially or ecologically.
Are you still looking for to know more? Contact me for a free clarity call. Reach out with an email and make sure to include your number so we can chat.
Much love and light, always
Self-Love Expert and Energy Master
There is immense value in the experience of relationships. Through these experiences we learn how to TRUST and HEAL our hearts. This is the key to everything. Below my trusted friend Michiel shares some of his wisdom with regards to Karmic Relationships. Does this resonate with you?
KARMIC RELATIONSHIPS by Michiel Versteeg
Karmic relationships are different from twin flame and soulmate relationships. In a spiritual context, karmic relationships are viewed from the lens of personal growth. Here are some of the signs of a karmic relationship.
1. They repeat patterns. If you’re on and off in your relationship, that is major sign it’s a karmic one. If you seem to be experiencing the same kinds of relationship problems, that is also a big red flag. Such relationships repeat the same patterns and remain stagnant, because the only way you can grow from them is by letting go.
2. They are selfish. Karmic relationships do not respect healthy boundaries in their partners. They serve only their own self-interest and needs. They are the perfect template for forming abusive or co-dependent relationship complexes. While one person is very invested, the other person views it more as a convenience.
3. They are addictive. They are characterized by highs and lows of passionate intensity. One or both partners are more in love with the idea of love, based on superficial reasons such as good looks, popularity, social or professional status.
4. They are controlling. They are obsessive and all about ownership of your partner. The other person becomes the center of your universe, and the main source of your happiness. You put them on a pedestal and are unable to see their flaws.
5. They feel destined. You think that you cannot live without this person and feel like you both are somehow meant to be together. You cannot fathom why it keeps failing, and you keep trying and hoping to get it right. They are extremely hard to resist, and keep drawing you in, until you learn what you need to from it.
6. There is an instant connection. Such relationships are marked by an immediate attraction. This person feels perfect to you. It feels like you have known them before, and you become instantly attached to them.
7. They create dependency. You begin to feel consumed by the relationship, and it begins to occupy your thoughts all the time. You can’t help handing them all the power. You become mentally, physically and emotionally dependent on this person.
8. They bring out your worst fears. They bring to the surface all the things you are deathly afraid of. Fear of abandonment, fear of commitment, fear of rejection, fear of loss, fear of emotional engulfment, and all the skeletons hiding in your closet.
9. They are irrational. They hold a mirror to your worst vulnerabilities and ugly insecurities. You start acting unlike yourself and do things that you wouldn’t normally do.
10. They reveal your dark side. They show you your most undesirable and difficult characteristics that you were previously unaware of. They painfully remind you how human you actually are.
11. They are tumultuous. Such relationships are incredibly volatile, erratic and unpredictable. The best thing you can do for yourself is to identify such a relationship and learn to let it go for your own good.
12. They push your buttons. The main purpose of these relationships is for you to learn how to properly love yourself and others, such that you stop trying to control your circumstances, become the master of your own ego, and focus on working on yourself.
13. They do not last. This person is not your forever person, how much ever you want to hope, wish and believe in your fairy tale ending. Contrary to what you see on television and media, such relationships are born out of conflict and end in conflict. They are extremely unhealthy, and usually do not last.
Regardless of what relationship you are in, they all serve a purpose. The purpose is your own personal growth. Learning and healing TRUST. Opening your heart to reveal your truth.
Also, the most important relationship is the one with SELF. These outside experiences are there so you may grow, learn to TRUST, expand in your awareness and experiences.
The value with working with an expert to assist you on this journey is immeasurable. The ROI is the best that you will ever receive. You are worth it.
Contact me today and allow me to Guide you through this process. email@example.com
Take a moment to learn more about Michiel and his energy work and crystals from Peru. It has all impacted my life in the most positive way. www.linkedin.com/in/michiel-versteeg-quartz-and-healing-crystals-5317a7185
The Heart’s Frequency of Trust
On the surface, you carry the same heart frequency as the highest frequency of love.. Yet your mind may tell you that this is not true, yet your heart trusts. Trust is the core energy of the Heart. It cannot be otherwise. You may feel that your heart has closed itself off from this vibration, or that you cannot feel it in your life or in the people who surround you, but this is not truth. Your heart trusts.
At this time I would like to shower you with waves of divine love to envelop your heart with a remembrance of the fullness of these frequencies your heart once mastered so well a very long time ago. My intention is to heal you with the frequency of my words.
A core heart frequency is vitally important for you to continue to re-integrate and foster, one that can teach you about yourself and create small miracles in your life. Trust is a connective energy, it establishes bridges of light and connection between you and all beings, allowing you to sense and connect to other hearts. Trust is also Openness, the more you trust, the more you are able to allow, experience and savour all of the sweet moments of Life without limit.
Are you fully conscious of the level of trust, dear One, you are able to open your heart as well? You may be surprised at what you discover.
It is time to fully heal our past wounds and surrender our egos to our true divine nature so that we may fully magnetize Trust. Our hearts are can be completely opened and allow the manifestations of the beauty and veritable paradise that is the fruit of our inner imagination…we have shaped and made our world with the fires of Love of our Hearts....our world is what we make of it…what we imagine it is…it is the sum total of all that that lies within our conscious and unconscious BEingness.
Most of humanity is not capable of creating with this kind of freedom of the heart as they have had many past lives and painful experiences which have led each of you to create many walls of protection over your hearts. You have placed a barrier between you and the natural flow of receiving all that is good and every kind of unlimited supply of Love that your hearts can imagine. These barriers consist of such energies as disappointments, feelings of being less than and what you have considered to be betrayals or abandonments from those around you and ultimately from yourself.
The result is that many of you cannot fully let love in…even when you experience a wonderful and most satisfying manifestation, you cannot permit yourselves to fully savour the moment, these many unconscious fears born of past experiences have taught you not to fully trust the good you receive, you fear the other shoe may drop or that something will come to take away your happiness. You fear that Life cannot be this good to you…you instinctively block the full sweetness of life and of love from coming into your life without restraint…Trust is a natural response…do you Trust Love? do you Trust with the full might of your heart that your Life experience can bring you great happiness? A fully open and trusting heart can possibly even experience the heights of Love such as ecstasy…all hearts are made the same with the same capability to experience the fullness of this kind of Love..
Trust is a powerful energy, imagine it as a great Flame in your heart, like a great Torch which can help you heal your fears…ask for Trust to be established in your heart and bridge every distance for you to bring to you all that you need to understand and reconcile. Teaching and nurturing your heart to fully Trust again is a process that requires patience. A child that has experienced trauma or negative perceptions of her/his self no longer automatically trusts. You must relearn to believe again that you are fully worthy and capable of loving to that degree. You will never regret having done so as you will no longer need to manifest scenarios that come to sabotage your long sought after happiness or that unfortunately come to validate the unconscious perceptions you may still have that haven’t yet evolved to a higher opinion of self, or finally where you believe that Life will never bring you all that you desire. The process of healing is to equalize all of this in the great flame of your heart with forgiveness and compassion. Once you have felt compassion and forgiveness for yourself, you can work with Trust as an active energy. To fully trust is to open your heart again, to allow yourself to Love and feel fully Alive. A child trusts so easily, it hasn’t learned the need to protect itself. It is quite possible to re-attain that state of innocence again and to fully trust that you are loved. How much can you trust beloved? Indeed, how much of Life’s great good do you choose to trust and allow yourself to merge with? An ascended master’s heart can span an entire ocean, a country, a continent, indeed all of the planet and more....
Now it is time to suggest to you a highly beneficial exercise in working with Trust. Reserve some time for yourself to take a look at all the areas in your life and identify where you do not Trust, there are always some areas where you trust more than others, where do you not allow the Great Life to bring to you all that your heart yearns to experience and become? Where do you block the flow of every good thing that would naturally be open and possible for you to experience? Imagine that the energy of Trust is a living energy that will help you burn through all the doubts, anger, disappointments, regrets and pain that hold you in repetitive patterns of lack of love. Sometimes the pain of a past event was too great to be felt and experienced in your present moment or daily life. In these cases, your Higher Self has taken this pain and stored it in your cellular memory to be revisited when you are once again able to process it. If a soul has repeatedly resisted revisiting these emotions to allow them to re-surface and to be released, they must now be somatised in their lower physical bodies and will often see the light of day as a physical disharmony which can no longer be denied. If still resisted, they will develop as a cancer or another type of physical ailment. We ask here that you turn over these wounds and negative emotions to the sacred fires of your mighty I Am Presence, for each energy that you have not yet allowed yourself to fully release yet, she/he will take each one and begin the process of transmutation. You may also ask Mother Mary and her Immaculate heart of Love to assist you in transmuting the fears that are most painful to you. Whatever happiness you feel you are being denied dear ones, whatever you feel you cannot have because it is seemingly out of your reach, take these emotions and ask your divine self to transform them through the action of the alchemy of the heart and the fires of the Christ Consciousness available in your heart which can heal and liberate you, as well as all the compassion, forgiveness, grace and joy that your heart can summon.
It is highly important also to seek to re-establish a perfect Trust in your Divine Self and to heal the wounds of all your past lives where you had suffered for your divine mission and you felt forsaken by your divinity. You may have often felt abandoned or betrayed by your divine self and often made vows that you would never believe again or that life was too hard; we have often directed much anger toward our Higher Self and suffered disconnection as a result; as well as the consequence of the manifestation of these emotions lifetime after lifetime. Intend now beloved to reconnect and resolve each of these moments by bathing them with the fires of purity and grace of your heart. Faith will maintain your frequency so that Trust can be instilled in your heart and now Love can flow, and only Love has the power to renew all of Life, to resurrect and reconnect with its nurturing and all-encompassing magic.
I am grateful for the team of Masters that assist me with this message. Thank you Adama for assisting with sharing of love so everyone has an opportunity to heal.
Remember your process of Self-Love is key to the process of TRUST. I am always here to assist you on your journey.
Much love and light always, Leona
You know it know longer serves you. You think you have kicked this energy out and yet it keeps sneaking back every time you get a little closer to your desire. That is why you are here today, to empower yourself with more knowledge and tools so you can experience more of what you desire and love now.
Shame has been used for centuries to keep communities together, doing so by shaming people into conforming. Our society has kept this up and instead of bringing people together it has caused people to retreat and isolate themselves.
Everyone has felt the emotional effects of shame at one point or another: embarrassment, fear, shyness, anger, rage, anxiety, envy and anytime there is an emotional reaction to something the body will respond physically.
We see this with heartache, you can literally feel the tightening in your chest, there is also scientific evidence that an emotional heartbreak can cause damage to the strings in the heart.
We see this with stress – the symptoms are endless really but stomach aches, tense muscles, headaches, crying etc.
Shame is one of those emotions that comes up when you believe that there is something wrong with you. It is different from guilt in that guilt is the belief you have done something wrong, something for which there is usually a remedy or amends for. Shame is deep seated. It is literally a strike against the soul.
Shame is believing that who you are is not enough, broken, damaged, no good, wrong, sinful.
The thing about shame is that, it comes from thinking a belief that is untrue. Either by a standard set by society, your family or yourself through observation and interpretation.
Awareness is the first step in starting to release shame. Noticing when you feel the effects of shame and digging deeper into recognizing where this comes from. A lot of the shame that is felt comes from childhood, it may have been a big event or one thing someone said or did to you. Either way it is important to notice it and then allow yourself to release it.
Physiologically your body will respond to the emotion of shame and in turn you will experience immediate symptoms such as:
Shrinking yourself smaller
Diverting eye contact
But moreover the long term effects of shame run deeper and can be felt even when you are not consciously aware of feeling shame.
Shame creates a stress response and stress creates a cortisol release. If you are a highly sensitive person, you are already likely in fight or flight mode more often than not which means you are Heading into if not already, an adrenaline deficit. Being ashamed of who you are because you are “different” from the majority of the population adds to the stress you already feel as a sensitive. It can be a viscous cycle if it is not managed.
Digestive issues abound in someone who is living behind a veil of shame.
Inflammation & infection is higher in bodies that are subjected to constant shame.
As every emotion has a physical counterpart the effects of shame are felt in the pancreas and duodenum. These are the parts of your body that are crucial to digestion and elimination. When shame is felt in the body, these organs want to expel. They want to work to get rid of what feels “disgusting” <- the root of shame. Holding the emotion of shame in your body can cause further damage to these organs.
Shame can lay a heavy beating on your immune system , digestive system and overall your ability and will to thrive in this world.
Let me ask you this. Have you ever had any experiences where you had to keep your truth quiet, particularly as a child? Well it’s time to reclaim your truth and value its power. By doing so, you will release energy, old shame, and subconscious blocks that may now be holding you back from living your life to the fullest.
It could be that you had lots of family secrets that your parents made sure you told no one about (which creates shame), or it could be you were bullied and felt unable to confide in anyone about it.
There are many circumstances where we have our truth kept locked in, and unintentionally we create shame around our truths. If you feel unable to speak your truth, then you feel shame. It’s nature’s law.
When we become shameful of our truths, we end up cutting off, discrediting, and devaluing a hugely important chunk of who we are and how we show up in the world.
This is true for me. When I was growing up, my parents had an emotionally abusive relationship, and I was sworn to secrecy about it. My parents wanted no one outside of the house to know what was going on. My sister and I had to practice the perception of perfection. Those cute little girls in their matching dresses and hair in ponytails. They are so polite and quiet, all the outsiders would say. Wow you have the nicest girls. They get up from the table and clear it without being asked. This is what the world saw. Not the unstable life on the inside. Parents constantly fighting. Our mother whose self esteem was so low and lived with her own mountain of guilt and shame acquired from her own childhood. So now it was being reflected on us little girls and her words would cut us like a sword and rip our hearts out. Then the next moment she would feel guilty and pull us back together so we looked like little dolls that were so precious. The stress it put on my sister and I to hold it all together on the outside. Never cry cause it shows a sign of weakness. Make sure you have good marks in school. Well that won’t matter cause you will be like the other generations of women before. Pregnant by 16 and not finishing high school. Wow. No shame intended here. Can you hear it in my voice? Sarcasm.
Then there was my father had anger issues and dealt with his emotions thru alcohol. He also had his own issues of shame given to him from his mother and father. Now don’t get me wrong, my parents were doing the best they could with the tools and experiences they had. They both loved us and we loved them. Yet what I learned growing up was it was better to not speak up or voice my feelings. Living under the same roof as them, it was impossible for me to not be affected by what was happening, yet I was unable to have my experience validated.
My parents were busy fighting, being in tension, or creating drama, and I was conditioned to not talk to anyone about “the troubles at home.” So my truth was shut down, kept only to me, my sister and my journal.
After my parents divorced, it didn’t getting any easier. Actually there was more shame attached to this. It actually affected my self esteem way down (which I kept under wraps as most thought I was a very confident young woman) I eventually moved out and on to college, and started my adult life. I felt proud of myself for staying strong through all the tough times at home, for being an emotional rock for my mother, and for forgiving my father for not being the kind of dad I wanted him to be.
Yet in my early twenties, things started to shift. After a few career U-turns, few rocky love affairs, a few years of experiencing Europe. I started to feel unsure of myself, and it started to bring up emotions I hadn’t felt for a long while.
For a long time, I’d considered myself to be strong, independent, and able to make decisions easily, and I was, overall, really confident. During my job changes, I felt unsure, doubtful, confused, and shameful.
Curious, I wanted to know where this shame came from. When in my life previously had I felt shame strongly? It led me back to when I was unable to truly have presence as “me” growing up—I was the girl who could only be a silent participant in an unhealthy household.
When I was told to not talk to anyone about what was going on, it was as if being told that my truth, perspective, and feelings were shameful.
At first I felt angry toward my parents, and any adults who may have known what had been going on but hadn’t shown concern towards my experience of the situation. But then, like a scientist, I detached and focused on how to release the shame.
I could see that some part of me must still be carrying shame toward speaking my truth, and the only way to release it was to share my truth.
So I told my story to a trusted friend. I didn’t leave anything out and quickly started to feel better. No one outside my family had known about what was going on, or what I’d experienced and seen. By telling someone outside of the family, I felt a shift—as if a spell was being broken.
Telling my truth did not make the sky fall down. It did not make me feel shameful. And it helped me see that while I’d been nurturing the brave, confident, no-BS side of me, there was a neglected side of me that needed to be seen—lonely, frustrated, confused, ignored.
Those “negative” aspects of ourselves are often the emotions we try to avoid, but as I began to validate them it helped me feel more compassion toward myself.
Feeling proud of yourself for your good qualities is one thing; being able to embrace yourself when you feel anger, resentment, or jealousy is another. And I learned that I have a “right” to feel all things.
Just as it’s okay to be excited, happy, and content, it’s also okay to feel sad, nervous, and bored.
Especially if you had an incident as a youngster where your “negative emotions” weren’t given space to be expressed, it’s important to be able to validate them now as an adult.
A lot of self-love work is about uncovering that hidden part of yourself and giving it light, room to breathe, capacity to exist. When we deny any part of ourselves we are not allowing ourselves to be truly who we are.
That’s not to say we should broadcast all our vulnerabilities on Facebook or go share with people who we know are incapable of honouring our truth. It could mean seeing a counsellor, a coach, a mentor or airing it to a non-judgmental support network.
When we realize we were “made” to keep our truths hidden by our environment or others, the first natural step is to feel angry, especially if this pattern of having to keep quiet took place as a kid or teen. Why didn’t the adults in our lives do the right thing and give us space to be heard?
Normally it had to do with their fears, insecurities, shames, and inability to face the truths for themselves. The important thing is to accept that they were unable to have done anything differently—to have provided you with what you needed.
Whatever you feel you needed from them (validation, support, safety to speak truth), accept and make peace with the fact you will never get these things from them. You can’t re-write history, and it may be likely that they are still, now, incapable of giving these things to you.
What we can do today, right now, is begin to release the habit of self-repression that we may have inherited from the past.
How do we do that?
Start to shine light and love on your truth, whether that’s turning your attention to your true passions that may have been ignored or taking baby steps to speak up on what doesn’t work for you.
Often we swallow our own opinions or needs in order to “keep the peace.” It’s time to take very small steps to rock the boat!
If you are subconsciously holding out for someone else to finally “See you” or love the real you, drop in with yourself and ask:
“Do I see the “real” me? Am I allowing my true self to be voiced, to be seen, to take up space?”
Do you have spaces in your life where you can “drop your guard” and be authentic?
I’ve found that having my truths validated is hugely important, and the following simple exercise is a good place to help you start:
Visualize a kind, benevolent being (which could be a trusted friend or person you know or your preferred idea of the universe/higher power/spirit) is with you and is saying this to you:
“I love that you love…”
And then allow yourself to list all the things you love! Write it down as a list.
“I love that you love making art. I love that you love dancing. I love that you love to have fun.”
This always leaves me feeling re-affirmed and self-secure. It never fails to make me feel happy to be me. And it allows me to feel loved for who I truly am, not for what I do for others.
If you have repressed anger or frustration/resentment (which is likely when we repress part of ourselves), find ways to healthily express it (for example a martial arts class).
I hope this helps you with your journey to truly valuing who you are at your core. Send love and validation to the aspects of yourself that perhaps your peers, family, and colleagues didn't or don't “get.” You have to expand to be all of yourself.
What’s the story?
Shame doesn’t appear from nowhere. It’s a form of conditioning that inhabits your mind, heart, body, and spirit. Maybe you were somehow made to feel ashamed of yourself when you were young – ashamed of who you are, your level of intelligence, your body.
There might be a story of shame that you’ve carried for a long time, but it’s actually a role you’ve taken on that is optional. Start to tell yourself that this shame story doesn’t have to define you.
Remember that who you are is not this story. Your essence is whole, not separate from anything, and boundlessly free.
Practice: Stand up and feel yourself in that familiar story of shame. Yes, right now! Just try it. Now, take a big step to one side and leave the story behind. Feel yourself minus the story. This is the possibility for you.
How does shame live in your body?
Every emotion has a physical component to it. Getting to know shame includes knowing how it lives in your body.
It may take some time to discover the physical experience of shame because it’s become so commonplace to you. Get quiet and bring your attention to your body. Then notice any physical sensations and places of numbness. You don’t need to do anything about them.
This is an exercise in simply meeting in open awareness what has been there anyway. It’s about making friends with the physical part of shame.
When you realize you don’t need to live the story of shame and you become aware of the sensations, the heaviness of this identity begins to dissolve. It’s the road to freedom.
Practice: As much as possible, a hundred times a day if necessary, bring your attention into your body and just be with whatever is happening. There’s no need to do anything; just simply be.
How you speak to yourself
Our inner self-talk can be so painfully harsh. And if you look at the root of what drives it, you’ll find shame, that feeling that there’s something terribly wrong—or worse—about you. Once you begin meeting the shame directly—by not being so captured by the story and feeling the physical sensations—this way of speaking to yourself starts to not even make sense anymore.
Let’s tell the truth. Are you actually that incompetent, inadequate so-and-so you think you are? If you look at these inner statements with the objective eyes of a scientist, you’ll be able to punch holes in them immediately.
By now, this negative self-talk is a habit that needs your attention, and the more intelligent focus you give it, the more it will unravel. Commit to recognizing this voice and letting its reign over you diminish.
Practice: Start by assuming that this damaging inner voice isn’t accurate and doesn’t serve. This is the truth. At least once every day, turn your attention away from these self-critical thoughts and let them float on by like clouds. Be the sky—vast, empty, and serene. Start to live here as much as possible and the critical thoughts begin to lose their power.
Know how and why you isolate
Living with shame is lonely and isolating. It makes you believe that no one would want to get close to you, which justifies your pushing them away. How do you do that? By being critical and judgmental of others.
Recognizing the urge to isolate is essential to moving through shame. Because it is a sign that your shame identity has taken charge. When you find yourself judging others and feeling separate, this is your golden moment to begin asking questions about your experience. What story do you believe? How do you feel in your body?
Not judging shame and welcoming it instead is the beginning of forming a new, healthy relationship—with yourself. Then you don’t need to be critical of others or push them away. You’re more available, authentic, and courageously vulnerable. And others will love you for it.
Practice: Recognize when you judge others and realize this is about you: it makes you feel separate. Is shame at the root of this need to separate? Inquire into what you’re thinking and feeling. Realize the possibility of a true connection with others.
Is there fear there?
Shame and fear often go hand in hand. You’re afraid of being seen for who you are. And at the same time, you fear being alone. You’re afraid you’re damaged goods, doomed to a life of misery.
As you get to know shame, become aware of various fears that may be lurking. Bring fear, too, out of the shadows and meet it lovingly.
Practice: Check to see if fear is present. Let down your resistance and allow it in, especially how it appears in your body. Like a long-lost child returning home, embrace the fear. Let it be there for as long as it wants to.
Moving ForwardFind the strength in being vulnerable
Vulnerability gets a bad rap these days. But what it actually offers you is the relief from having to hide from yourself, the simplicity of just being as you are without having to change anything.
Whatever you feel is your present moment experience. Resisting it creates endless suffering, and welcoming it in is the path to inner peace. This is the medicine for the secret of shame.
Be as you are. Not in the story of who you think you are that is denigrating and destructive—you’ve lived there long enough. Instead, shift your attention away from these thoughts, and allow your current experience as it is. These sensations…this breath…touching…hearing…looking…speaking…
It’s so relaxing because you don’t have to hide or grasp. You can just be.
Practice: Begin to get comfortable being with whatever you are experiencing in any given moment. Start with just a few moments until you see that it’s OK, that whatever you’re afraid will happen, won’t. Then, more and more, let yourself be.
Sacred honesty—with yourself
When you live in shame, you are constantly lying to yourself. You draw yourself into a trance that makes you believe you are inadequate, unworthy, and just plain wrong. The truth? It’s just plain inaccurate.
Healing from shame invites radical honesty. Are you up for it?
Whenever you are feeling separate and lacking, question your experience. Find the gap (#2 above), and recognize the thoughts and feelings in your body that have taken hold.
Then realize that who you are is so much more than this identity. To be perfectly honest, you are whole, unbroken, and infinitely at peace. Keep returning here. Become more and more transparent so the light of truth shines through.
Practice: Investigate your direct experience with a discerning eye to see what is true and what is false. Live in the truth of yourself as whole, full, pure, and capable.
Wide open heart
Shame is all about limitation, holding back, and keeping yourself separate and isolated. And where is your heart? Wounded, stuck, and closed.
Begin to live with a heart wide open. Move your attention outside of your head to notice the beauty and tenderness around you. It’s been there all along, you just haven’t noticed. Let yourself be touched by the simple experiences of daily life.
Shame is a filter that keeps you from life, and dissolving the filter leaves you available and receptive. Without even trying, you begin to notice love and appreciation. Where before you held back, now you engage.
Recovering from shame opens you to being fully alive!
Practice: Find within you the courage to begin to open your heart. Instead of being absorbed in shame, experience things—and people—with fresh eyes. When you notice that you are closed, open…open…open…
It's not easy to deal with painful emotions head-on. But it's a key to good health and well-being physically, mentally, and spiritually. If we don’t deal with pain when it occurs, it will resurface as compounded emotional toxicity later on — showing up as insomnia, hostility, and anger, or fear and anxiety.
As a further complication, if you don’t know how to deal with feelings of anger and fear, you're likely to turn them inward at yourself, believing, “It’s all my fault.” That guilt depletes our physical, emotional, and spiritual energy until any initiative or movement feels impossible. We feel exhausted and paralyzed, leading to depression.
You can learn how to recognize painful emotions right away and how to effectively "metabolize" and eliminate pain.
Overcoming difficult emotions such as fear, anger, guilt, and anxiety can bring the same disguised benefits that dealing with a physical illness can bring. Patients suffering from life-threatening illness often report that their diseases have taught them to love and value the other people in their lives more deeply than before they became ill. During recovery they learn to appreciate and understand areas of life that they took for granted before. While anger, fear, and worry are not diseases, we can grow from them even as we process them to become the person we want to be.
By turning to our inherent intelligence, harmony, and creativity, we can create a positive outcome; but if we are emotionally turbulent, we are too agitated to access that possibility.
WHY MEDITATION IS PART OF THIS EXERCISEThrough meditation we can experience our silent self beyond our thoughts and emotions. This is our internal reference point for equilibrium. From here we can create a desired outcome. To restore balance in our life, meditation must be an essential ingredient.
It is also important to support this with balanced activity in the basic areas of diet, exercise, and sleep. While some of these meditation exercises do not require any, we recommend our simple and effective meditation accessories for beginners.
Assuming these fundamental balancing components are in place, I would offer an additional exercise to specifically address what to do in the face of intense anxiety and fear.
LEARN HOW TO METABOLIZE PAIN WITH THIS SEVEN-STEP EXERCISEToxic, turbulent emotions have one cause — not knowing how to deal with pain. Pain is normal in life, but suffering isn’t. When we do not know how to deal with pain, we suffer.
IDENTIFY AND LOCATE THE EMOTION PHYSICALLYSet aside a few minutes when you won’t be disturbed. Pick any quiet place where you feel calm. It is recommended to take a seat that is sturdy, yet comfortable. The best practice is sitting up straight. The floor is not a bad idea, but this can become uncomfortable very quickly. Our meditation seating options are a strong and accessible alternative for those who seek deep meditation with both physical and emotional comfort. Sit in a relaxed position and close your eyes. For a few minutes, just meditate in silence. Focus on your breathing — or if you prefer, you may use a mantra.
Now with eyes still closed, recall some circumstance in the recent past that was upsetting to you. It may be a time when you felt you were mistreated, an argument with your partner, or perhaps a past injustice at work. Identify some instance where you felt emotionally upset.
For the next 30 seconds, think in detail about that incident. Try to picture what actually happened as vividly as you can, as if you were reporting it for a newspaper. Here, you are the observer watching this event. You are not the event, argument, or emotional upset; you are merely witnessing what is happening from the perspective of your silent self. You are carrying the effect of the meditation you just did, allowing you to maintain a vantage point that is not overshadowed by the intensity of the emotions.
Now identify exactly what you are feeling. Put some word on the incident that describes what you are experiencing. Be as precise as you can. Do you feel unappreciated? Insulted? Treated unfairly? Give the feeling a name. Come up with a word that epitomizes the painful experience. Focus your attention on that word.
WITNESS THE EXPERIENCEGradually allow your attention to move away from the word. Let your attention wander into your body. Become aware of the physical sensations that arise in your body as a result of the emotion you’ve identified.
These two elements — an idea in the mind and a physical sensation in the body — are what an emotion truly is, and they can’t really be separated. This is why we call it a feeling — because we feel emotions in our bodies.
Let your attention pass through your body as you’re recalling this experience. Locate the sensations the memory brings up. For many it’s a pressure in the chest or a sensation of tightness in the gut. Some feel it as pressure in their throat. Find where it is in your body that you’re feeling and holding the emotional experience.
EXPRESS THE EMOTIONNow express that feeling. Place your hand on the part of your body where you sense that the feeling is located. Say it out loud: “It hurts here.” If you’re aware of more than one location for the pain, move your hand from place to place. At every location, pause for a moment and express what you’re feeling. Say, “It hurts here.”
When you experience physical discomfort, it means that something is unbalanced in your experience — physically, mentally, or spiritually. Your body knows it — every cell in your body knows it. Befriend these sensations and their wisdom, because the pain is actually leading you to wholeness.
Writing your feelings out on paper is also a valuable way to express the emotion. This is especially effective when you can write out your painful experience in the first person, in the second person, and finally from the perspective of a third-person account.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITYBe aware that any painful feelings you experience are your feelings. These feelings are happening inside your body now as you remember the pain, even though nothing is actually taking place in the material world. You’re only remembering what happened, yet your body is reacting with muscle contractions, hormonal secretions, and other responses within you. Even when the painful incident was occurring in the material world, the effect was entirely within you. You have a choice in how you interpret and respond to emotional turbulence. Recognizing this is taking responsibility for your feelings.
This doesn’t mean you feel guilty. Instead, it means you recognize your ability to respond to painful situations in new and creative ways. By taking responsibility for your feelings, you can also gain the power to make the pain melt away. You’re no longer blaming anyone else for having caused the pain, so you no longer have to depend on anyone else to make it go away. Hold that understanding in your consciousness for the next few moments.
RELEASE THE EMOTIONPlace your attention on the part of your body where you’re holding the pain, and with every exhalation of your breath, have an intention of releasing that tension. For the next 30 seconds, just feel the painful sensation leaving your body with every breath. Some people find that making an audible tone that resonates in that part of your body where the pain is localized helps to loosen and lift the contraction away.
You can also experiment to discover what works best for you. For some people, singing or dancing does the trick. You may try deep breathing, using essential oils, or taking a long warm bath. Finally, if you have written out your emotions on paper, it can be helpful to ritually burn the paper and offer the ashes to the winds.
SHARE THE OUTCOMESharing the outcome of releasing your pain is important because it activates the new pattern of behaviour after the old painful pattern is released. Imagine that you could speak to the person who was involved in that original painful incident. What would you say to that person now?
Bear in mind that he/she was not the real cause of your pain. The real cause was your response. In your transformed state, you are now free. So you can share what happened without blame, manipulation, or seeking approval. Perhaps they intended to cause you pain, and you may have unwittingly collaborated in that intention. Maybe you would like to say you no longer intend to fall into such traps.
Whatever you say is totally up to you. As long as you have an awareness of the steps we’ve taken so far in this exercise, whatever you say will be right for you.
CELEBRATE THE PROCESSNow you can celebrate the painful experience that had taken place as the valuable material that helped you move to a higher level of consciousness. What was previously a disconnected, destructive, and disabled part of your psyche is now integrated and contributing its power toward your greater spiritual goal. Instead of responding to the situation with a pain reflex, perpetuating the problem, you’ve turned it into an opportunity for spiritual transformation. That is something to celebrate! Go out for a nice dinner or buy yourself some flowers or a present to honour the new you.
Use this exercise whenever you feel upset, to free yourself from emotional turbulence and the underlying pain. When you do that, you’ll find that opportunities will arise more often in every area of your life.
If you are ready to receive more of what you desire in this life. More love. Healthier relationships. A better relationship with your body and the love you have for yourself. I am inviting you to a 30 minute call with me. Let’s do this. Raise your hand if you would like to have a call with me. Let’s set up a call now. Contact me at RAISING MY HAND!!!
Much love and light always,
Over the bridge I go, where I stop nobody knows.
The last month has been a month of transition. I have moved from Portugal. Packed up my life and marriage in Paris. Transitioned back to Canada. Turned 51. Left a job. Searched for a new one. Accepted a new job offer. Moved into a home. Scrubbed and painted my new home. Started a new certification process as a Health and Fitness Instructor. All while being in the most powerful and energetic times that this planet and humanity has ever experienced. Oh and I forgot, I gave up Gluten and Dairy this month as well. Just a few things.
Incredible. No wonder why I am up at 144 in the morning writing this blog. My mind is constantly whirling. My body is in physical pain. My spirit is on fire and I can feel myself within all worlds. Does that make any sense? There is so much going on that I don’t even know where to start. Yet spirit prompts me to wake and write. Even though I am not sure what to share, the importance of sharing my energy and thoughts with you is too powerful not to listen. So here I am.
What does it all mean? We are in the midst of a powerful transition into a new world. We are moving at phenomenal speeds. The best thing is to let go and be in the flow. All while doing the very best that we can. I have learned lately to take even better care of myself. Listen to those prompting thoughts and shift and flow with them. Surrender. It is easier than resisting. Listen and act. Even if it is at 144 in the morning. Love myself. Share with others because I know I am not alone.
My physical self is shifting. I feel my strength in every muscle. I am stretching myself into places that are considerably uncomfortable. Yes my body hurts from my finger tips to my toes. Yet I am loving that I feel all of it. My face has changed as well. My brain feels alert and more alive than ever. I am surrounded with love, so much love. At the same time I feel my heart missing some comforts of the past. My old life. I find my mind is flooded with memories of what use to be…I am also grieving as I am transitioning. Instead of holding on, I allow myself to feel and remember and sometimes cry. Then I breath and feel into my heart. I feel the courage it has taken to transition into the unknown. The immense amount of trust in myself, Source and Universe that I am being Guided over the bridge into the new world. That all will be amazing. All is amazing.
We are in an incredible time. Remember you are not alone. Remember…I signed up for this. It is a great time of joy. My life has prepared me for this time of transition. My experiences have gifted me wisdom so I may lead others as they transition.
My gifts have been heightened. My journeys have brought me back to Canada to assist others as they transition. I am truly grateful.
Remember you are love. Your spiritual journey requires a fundamental ingredient…SELF-LOVE. Be strong. Stay connected. Be love.
Always and forever, Leona
#love #light #self-love #gratitude #together
When I was in Ireland a few years ago, I heard this expression “Feck it!” I loved it. I put it in my back pocket and stored it for the appropriate moments in life. You know the ones I am talking about. When things don’t go as planned, you say “Feck it!” and move on. Perhaps in my wiser years, which I have proclaimed I am in now. The words “Feck it!” are more than necessary. With travelling around the world as well you need to have a little “Feck it!” from time to time or else you would end up stressed and in a ball of tears in the middle of a foreign country at your wits end.
“Feck it!” is my new motto. Life is too full of complications, expectations, measurements, stresses and fears to be attached to a PLAN. Sometimes you just have to say,“Feck it!”
Now by the end of this article you will be saying “Feck it!” too as I have repeated it enough times for it to become your new motto as well.
I am at a time in my life where I am moving at the speed of Leona and being the woman that I always desired to be. Free on every level! I travel the world, I work from my computer and in any country that I desire. I am surrounded with loved ones. I choose to express myself how I may without any attachment to how it is received. I experience everything that I choose to say yes to. And sometimes when things don’t go as planned or life just throws me a curve ball. I just say “Feck it!” I put my hands up in the air and take a deep breath. Trusting that the bigger plan is at play and I just need to let go of the reigns. And every time I do, it is just bigger and better and more beautiful that I had imagined.
My point is maybe it is time to let go a little more. Trust a little more. Breathe a little more. BE a little more. Just say “Feck it” and see what happens. Why not?
Enjoy your life! Sending you love and courage to live the life that you desire NOW!
Love always, Leona
You probably were at the playground or walking along a path. Picked a flower and started picking each petal...He loves me. He loves me not. Remember. Allows trying to arrive at the point where...He loves me.
I am not sure boys ever played this game yet I am sure the thoughts of She loves me, she loves me not have run through their minds. The point being, since we have been children we have been looking for LOVE outside of ourselves.
Which brings me to a song that runs through my head from time to time "Looking for LOVE in all the wrong places."
See this is our challenge. We have been taught from a young age to look for love outside of ourselves and it begins with the relationship of our parents. From the moment we receive a smile from something we did as a very tiny baby, we would repeat the behaviour because it evoked a positive response. So the patterns repeat as we receive a smile, a hug, a cuddle, recognition and so on. We strive for that feeling of love from someone else. This pattern grows and expands into a deep program that can remain with us for the rest of our life. We can become disappointed and even depressed if we have a relationship where we are not receiving love. These patterns and programs can lead to a life time of relationship ups and downs. So how do we break through this belief that love comes from another.
You got it! Self-Love is the magical key to your kingdom of LOVE! Of course it is a perfect time to talk about LOVE as we enter into the famous month of February where hearts, love, gifts and so on overwhelm us and remind us of our lack of love we may have with another or love that is not good enough. Yikes! Don't get me started on Valentines Day! With my birthday being the day before, I have always had a bee in my bonnet with receiving heart shaped cakes, heart cards, wrapping paper, etc. See! I said don't get me started.
LOVE must come from the inside first before we can attract the love on the outside that we desire. How could we possibly expect another to love us unconditionally, when we don't love ourselves. Every single aspect of ourselves fully. How can we possibly expect another to adore and cherish us, if we don't ourselves. How can we expect another to completely understand us and our needs, when we don't understand ourself.
My suggestion is to spend some time with yourself this month. Get to know who you really are. What are your best qualities? Do you love every aspect of yourself? Even your dark side. Hmm...Give yourself the gift of LOVE this month.
As my gift to you, send me a message thru here and I will GIFT you my e-book "Your Self-Love Guide"
**If you really want to know, LOVE is energy, not a feeling. Just thought I would drop that thought provoking statement to get you really tapping in to your heart this month**
Love and light always, Leona
Here we go! Truth time!
Being 50 and beautiful is at a whole other level. What does it mean to be beautiful at my age?
Let’s face it, beauty at 20, 30 and 40 is an outside experience. Always thinking about things like…How is my hair? What about my make up? What about my skin? I have to have the latest fashion look.
Quite honestly, I still have these moments. I am a Goddess! Of course, I care about what I look like. The biggest difference is I don’t care what YOU think I look like because I love all of myself.
Trust me when I say this…this did not happen overnight. This has been a 35 plus year project. Lol I crack myself up. Yet, it is true. I have struggled with my inner and outer beauty for years, yet most didn’t know it. People thought that I was confident and brave and “didn’t give a shit.” Yet I did, more than I ever care to admit. I didn’t consciously realize it most of the time though. I loved and adored fashion and the latest looks. Hence, why I wanted to move to Paris the capital of fashion and beauty in the first place. The place where you are most judged by your outer appearance and where most don’t give a flying F**K what is happening on the inside. Until the moment you are sitting in front of your doctor and he or she is prescribing you with an anti-depressant. Yes, France has one of the highest rates of depression on the planet! Crazy right?!? In fact, middle aged women actually have the highest rates of depression with the disorder being most prevalent among women age 40 to 59 years old. Yikes! As a side note, I am not leaving men out, they suffer as much as we do. We just don't talk about it.
It makes complete sense when we are being judged on our outer appearances and the results that we must produce. We are all overwhelmed with thousands upon thousands of products and the ways to appear younger, tighter, firmer, bustier and more! No pressure.
Yet on the flip side, I have seen it in the smallest of children as they strive for perfection and are never good enough. Yes, this is also in all countries around the world. Yet my experience in France I have seen it amplified.
Also, as a professional Self-Love Expert, I have experienced an increase in clients striving for more Self-Confidence and a desire for an increase in Self-Esteem.
So, what does this have to do with “Beauty At My Age”?
Everything. See Beauty stems from the inside and the more I have studied this and have assisted others on their journeys, the more this truth rings loud and clear!
The day I woke up on my 50th birthday and looked in the mirror. I remember seeing Leona. This beautiful young woman with wisdom lines around her eyes and realized you are the most beautiful I have ever seen you. Look at you, confident, self-assured, radiant, living the life of your dreams, experienced and wiser than you have ever been.
Don’t get me wrong here. I love my beauty products. All my creams and lotions and magic potions. The difference again is I Love Myself! I am not striving for perfection on the outside, I am enjoying the perfection on the inside. Yet I also love to experience my outside beauty to the fullest. Does that make sense?
I also want to let you in on a little secret. Last year when I turned 50…I was offered to work with a series of companies in the Beauty industry who create Quantum Energetic Beauty Products. Their products align you on the inside, so you may experience more of your true outer beauty. So of course, it was an easy yes and fits perfectly in alignment with my work as a Self-Love Expert. Hmm…funny how the Universe works.
Beauty at my age is so much more than what we are taught and shown. Beauty at my age is the accumulation of life experiences. It is the realization that my beauty stems from the inside.
I love myself! All of me! That is my desire for all of humanity! To realize their beauty at ANY AGE and enjoy the experience.
I would love to hear your thoughts around Beauty.
Much love and light always,